You see him across the bar. He looks at you with desire and undresses you with his eyes. You coyly drop your chin and look back at him. The tension builds as you exchange glances. You can feel him as his stare penetrates deep inside you . . .
Everyone can remember their first hot and heavy encounter, or the moment they fell in love with their significant other. As time goes on, perhaps some of these sensations have waned.
Sex is a natural and pleasurable part of a healthy lifestyle. There are many reasons people lose interest in sex. It can be difficult for both you and your partner to talk about. Some of the causes of low libido are psychological and pertain to your emotional well-being, and some are physiological. This article will explore some home exercises to ignite the fire and nourish your sexual flame. We will also explore how acupuncture can help address some of the underlying causes of low libido. Did you know acupuncture can improve blood flow to your sex organs, balance hormones, and reduce stress? It also helps with underlying issues such as obesity, diabetes, and heart problems (read Cassandra’s article on cardiology for National Heart Health Awareness Month).
In the United States, discussions around sexuality and sexual health are often taboo. At the Acupuncture Clinic of Boulder, Inc., sexual health is a topic we frequently discuss. It comes up in the context of couples going through fertility challenges, for men who have had prostate procedures, insecurities around body image, people having STDs that get in the way of intimacy, physical challenges with pain and aging, general depression, emotional and physical trauma and hormone challenges. The only way to help people get their mojo back is to have an open dialogue about frequently closeted subjects.
When challenges come up for us personally, or in our relationship, it can be difficult to find connection to our own body, and with our partner. It is always important to first address any psychological barriers caused by trauma or a lack of trust. One of the most difficult times for couples to connect sexually is when they are trying to conceive. If pregnancy does not occur in a short period of time, a shift comes from the enjoyment, exploration, and the pleasure of experiencing each other, to each person questioning if their body is working correctly. Many times, thoughts and doubts creep in regarding their ability to procreate as well as their sexual prowess. They ask the question, “What is wrong with me?” Women ride a roller coaster throughout the month from ovulation to either conception or getting their period, and men feel more pressure to perform at certain times of the month (ovulation), and sometimes fail to achieve an erection. Each person is operating more on a time clock rather than the biology of when they have their natural urges. This can put great strain on a relationship and take away from the original reasons of wanting to have a baby – to become closer. Other people have a history of sexual trauma and while they love and care for their partners, find their body freezes in a fight or flight protective pattern. Understanding what is going on for our clients helps us address both the emotional and physical struggles. We have recommendations to wonderful therapist for personal and couples therapy to work through difficult histories and improve communication within relationships. Please ask us, we would love to help!
During the Pandemic, many people have experienced low-grade depression, anxiety, and relied on coping mechanisms such as alcohol, marijuana, and overeating. On average weight gain during the Pandemic has been 5-15 pounds. This makes people less likely to walk around naked and strut their stuff. Furthermore, many people are making less of an effort to get dressed up and strut their peacock feathers. The “mating dance” has dwindled. During this time, you may need to make a conscious decision to invest in romance and sex. If you are finding Netflix movies, the Outlander series, or the first article in our newsletter on new air filters at the Acupuncture Clinic of Boulder, Inc., more thrilling than your sex life, it is time to spend some time cultivating love and romance! For partners who have been together for a long time, this may be a faucet of your relationship that has been neglected. You can always rekindle the flame.
You can have so much fun at home!!! Here are some creative ideas to spice up your sex life (read further for acupressure points to encourage blood flow and arousal!)
– Costumes: think of every fantasy you have ever had. In the privacy of your own home, you can be anyone! Pick a character and play dress up! Remember, skin is sexy. It does not matter how big or small your body is. Confidence makes everything look good.
– Massage: while massage leading to a “happy ending” is of extreme pleasure, there is also massage just for the sake of giving and relaxation. Linger on your partner’s body parts without an endgame in mind and rediscover what makes them feel relaxed, as well as aroused. Concentrate on their pleasure. You can each choose a day to give and receive.
– Blindfold: Mix in different textures such as cotton, feathers, silk, etc. and see how your partner reacts.
– Temperature play: ice and heat in your partner’s erogenous zones (for women and men) can drive them wild.
– Delayed orgasm: During the Pandemic, there is A LOT of time.
– Mix it up: different rooms, positions.
– Toys: We have some great local businesses to find toys. (Toys come in very handy post-prostatectomy. There are many ways to keep having fun!)
– New lingerie or clothes.
– Phone sex in the same house. Go to different rooms and share your fantasies on the phone with each other.
– Outside: Plan a hike or fun activity.
– Dress up: While we hope you are supporting local businesses, for those nights when you are home, plan a date and get gussied up.
– Self-love: Masturbate. It is important to take time for yourself and to learn what you like. This can also help you find confidence to share with your partner what makes you feel good.
– Sex coach: A sex coach can help you expand your ideas around sexuality, and help with your confidence and communication. Finding someone you trust and resonate with is of the utmost importance, so take the time to interview people until you find the right one.
During sex, massaging general areas such as the abdomen and low back, especially along the midline, below the area of the belly button. You can also start near the feet and massage the lower legs from behind the ankle bone, working your way up the legs to the genital area.
In Chinese medicine, having a free flow of Qi and Blood throughout your body is an important concept. Circulation and blood flow in your pelvic region are important for ovulation and menstruation (free of cramping and pain), and for strong urination, erections, and ejaculation. Whether you have a partner, or live on your own, you can improve your sexual health.
If you have felt stifled, low in energy, or disconnected from your body, it’s time to dive in, and get the creative juices flowing. Sex begets sex. When we are stifled energetically, there is typically a reduction in sex hormones such as estrogen, testosterone, and progesterone. While men and women have these hormones, men have more testosterone and women have more estrogen.
In addition, to the varying factors above, testosterone commonly declines in men over 50. Testosterone is a steroid hormone involved with muscle development, bone strength, fertility, libido and sperm production. When this hormone is low, symptoms include low libido, fatigue, erectile dysfunction, decrease in muscle mass, anxiety and insomnia.
The hormone estrogen is responsible for the sexual development of girls when they reach puberty, controls the growth of the uterine lining during the menstrual cycle and at the beginning of a pregnancy, causes breast changes in teenagers and women who are pregnant, is involved in bone and cholesterol metabolism, regulates food intake, body weight, glucose metabolism, and insulin sensitivity. As estrogen declines, symptoms develop such as painful sex due to a lack of vaginal lubrication, an increase in urinary tract infections (UTIs) due to a thinning of the urethra, irregular or absent periods, mood swings, hot flashes, breast tenderness, headaches or accentuation of pre-existing migraines, depression, trouble concentrating, fatigue
In Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM), estrogen is Yin and testosterone is Yang.
From a western perspective, the kidneys are a filtration and waste-removal organ. But the Kidney organ system, in TCM theory, is like the control center of your Yin-Yang equilibrium system, including the seat of sexuality and desire.
In light of this, for sexual performance and desire, you have to nourish your Kidneys.
Kidneys, according to TCM theory, are the origin of life. All the Yin and Yang energy you inherited are stored here.
Acupuncture and Chinese herbal medicine can help reduce stress and anxiety, improve metabolism, regulate blood sugar, and improve blood flow to the sex organs. It has the ability to bring the body to homeostasis, middle ground. We help people connect to their bodies by supporting them both emotionally and physiologically. Your treatment plan is determined by your health concerns and your long term care goals. After our initial evaluation we will make recommendations on the number of visits, frequency and duration. Please call today for your appointment at 303-665-5515!
References:
https://www.yinovacenter.com/blog/reviving-your-sex-drive/
https://balancecenters.com/tcm-and-libido-in-men/
https://www.activeherb.com/blog/sexual-wellness-in-chinese-medicine.html
https://www.womenshealthmag.com/sex-and-love/a19948790/valentines-day-sex-postions/
https://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/news/g4612/valentines-day-sex-positions/
https://www.fusionhealth.com.au/health-categories/healthy-ageing/libido-sexual-performance
https://beducated.com/mag/ejaculation-control-kundalini-orgasms/
https://www.womenshealthmag.com/sex-and-love/a19983318/erogenous-zones-for-men/
https://www.healthline.com/health/healthy-sex/erogenous-zones
